About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
