if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
