I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
