I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize