a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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