Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
