Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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