Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
