they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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