hotel room ftw
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
