pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
