WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you will always have a special place in my vag
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
