careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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