it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
