sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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