im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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