Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
