You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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