nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
