fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
