I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
