dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
