YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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