it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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