Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
