My cat gives me a boner
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
