I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
