His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
