everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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