I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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