thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
