I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They have beer where we have blood.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
