one two three fourrrrnication!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
