The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
