at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
