those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
