life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
