Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize