I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
