at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
