can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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