meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
40s are totally the cure
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
