well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
