ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
