Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
