Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
