what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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