No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
