I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
