with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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