Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
