Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
