I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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