we're blogging at a bar
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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