so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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