I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Where is the hickey?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
