a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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