my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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