Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
