You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize