wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
