don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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