I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize