I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
