Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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