do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
